Wearing my Heart on My Sleeve

If you've hung around Delta more than few weeks or have listened to more than 3-4 of my sermons, you know that I can be a pretty emotive guy - whether it's getting a little loud and sounding like an old-school bible-thumper or whether it's preaching through tears.

One of the tear moments came yesterday.  Now, just so the record's clear, I'm a dude (and a big one at that, being 6'3" and 275lbs), I watch a lot of football, eat chicken wings, enjoy an occasional red lager, and have Metallica's S&M on my iPod (and actually listen to it!).  So what's up with the crying?

Biblically, dudes like Abraham, Joseph, David, Job, Jeremiah, Paul, the Ephesian Elders, and Jesus Himself are recorded as ones who weeped over things that moved their soul or in lament over their sin or the sin of their people.  But what about me?

As I've thought about this, there are 2 main categories that consistently bring me to tears:

1) God's grace.  I don't understand it...never will.  All I do understand is how unbelievable jacked up and sinful I am, yet God in his mercy has chosen to love me and make me His child.  When I preach on texts that bring this theme up, I'm honestly thinking of the Gospel in my own life and I get overwhelmed by it.

2) People I love.  Particularly: my family, my close friends, and the people in my church.  My tears come from how deeply I care for them and how desperately I want to the Gospel to be vividly alive in their lives.  My natural personality lends me to come off as a little hard, but truth be told, my heart melts for people.

There have been times when I've taught (for a few years, actually) and tears never came.  But those were the times when I was either a) not following Jesus very closely, or b) more concerned with  projecting an image that was expected of me.  That's just not worth, because I wasn't authentic, and being authentic is really important for me.

I once heard Mike Yaconelli (former president of Youth Specialties, who is now with Jesus) say at a conference, "When you are close to Jesus, you tend to cry more." I resonated with that.  The closer I'm walking with Jesus, the more I'm in tune with his heart, the softer mine is.  This may not be true for everybody, and that's OK; but it rings true for me.

God has created you with a full range of emotions - just like He has.  If you intentionally suppress them or handle them in an inappropriate way, that could lead you to sin.  But more than anything, be comfortable with how Jesus has made you and love him with everything that you are.