For Better, For Worse...For God

One of my favorite things to do as pastor is to officiate weddings. Most everyone (except for the mother of the bride, usually) is in a great mood, happy, and ready to party afterward. I recently attended a wedding where the groom is from South Africa and about 20 family members and friends of his came over to Michigan for the wedding. I have to tell you, it was one of the most enjoyable receptions I've been at. First, they have some old, traditional wedding songs and dances (they do this thing called 'hooking'...one minute my wife was next to me, and a second later, she was 'hooked' back and forth from person to person to the other end of the dance floor (but don't worry, it wasn't dirty)...she came back to me and said, 'I have no idea how I got over there.') Another tradition they have is that the groom gives a speech thanking his family, his bride's family, and all of the guests; but during the whole speech all of his buddies sit down in front of him and heckle him the whole time. One song they sing is full of hope, thankfulness, and love that is very meaningful. I really appreciated the opportunity to experience a 'cross-cultural' wedding experience. At the same time I felt terrible for the U.S. because the greatest gift we've given to the wedding experience is 'The Chicken Dance.'

I've thought a lot about why people get married. With divorce rates so high (at or above 50% for both Christians and non-Christians), you've got to wonder why do it in the first place. For the non-believer, I think it comes down to having a cure for lonliness, wanting to be happy (thanks Tom Cruise, 'you complete me', too), financial benefits, social status, and residual values from our once-Christian nation. For the believer, though, I think getting married is about 1) expressing selfless love to another that you have deep care and commitment to (1 Corinthians 13); 2) living out the first community relationship God ordained (Genesis 2); 3) being able to live up to the full potential of biblical manhood and womanhood, which ultimately shapes us into becoming more like Christ (Proverbs 31 & Ephesians 5); and 4) making babies (Genesis 1:28) and then discipling those children to love Jesus in order to leave a spiritual heritage (Deuteronomy 6, Psalm 78). Now there may be more or better reasons that come from someone smarter and more godly than me, but those came to my mind first.

I've also been talking with a number of people for a long time about why so many marriages struggle so much, especially those who have been married less than 10 years, or have been married numerous times. I believe that it is ultimately a spiritual issue. Unless you really love Jesus and begin to transform into his likeness, you have no hope for your marriage, much less your life in general. With that as the backdrop, I believe that the main issue is pure selfishness. We love ourselves so much, are more concerned with our happiness instead of the happiness of others, and will protect ourselves before anybody else. Marriage is about giving, not getting, and unless you are prepared to live a selfless life, you are unfit for marriage. The other issue is a two-parter, a man part and a woman part (and it's not about sex, either). The first pastor I worked under once told me that most marriages can be described as "little boys who marry their moms." Now that sounds either really stupid at first or really offensive, but let it sink in a little and I think you'll find it true. The man part with this is that a lot of guys just don't grow up. They still want to run around like hormone-charged 15 years olds, play their games, have their toys, and never really have any responsibility. The woman part with this is that a lot of girls just want to be in control. They want to call the shots, tell their man what to do and when, and prove that they can (and should) be in charge just because they think they should (thanks to a very non-biblical women's liberation movement).

Now listen, this has nothing to do with a poorly defined idea of submission or some stupid exaggerated idea of male dominance. It's really about living out the design that God has given us. Men and women, husbands and wives, are both made in the image of God and are co-equal positionally. Each have talents, gifts, skills, & abilities that don't make one better than another, but allow each to complement the other. The issue here is role and scope of responsibility. Just like with the Trinity - the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - all are co-equal in the Godhead, but each has a different role to play out.

So, please put yourself under the authority of God's Word and read through Genesis 1 & 2 and Ephesians 5. As you either prepare for marriage or are looking to strengthen your marriage, first ask yourself if you really do love Jesus, then ask God to point out the specific areas of selfishness in your life to rid yourself of those by giving more, and then, men: really ask yourself tough questions about your responsibility to sacrificially love your wives; and women: really ask yourself tough questions about your responsibility to biblically submit with respect to your husbands. And let's actually do this community thing right and get people who love Jesus in our lives to help us through it all; people who are willing to say hard things when needed, intervene when needed, pray always, and just pour out a lot of love often.

Everything for Jesus,

Ryan

The Shepherd

I find it rather amusing when people talk about Jesus simply being a 'good moral teacher'. Whenever I hear this, I know that the person has not accepted the full truth of scripture and all of Jesus' teaching; or they never have even read about Jesus' life and teachings in the Gospels.

I began reading through the Gospel of John awhile back. John is a pretty mystical guy and uses all sorts of codes and imagery when talking about Jesus. When you read John, you really get a sense of Jesus' holiness. But reading parts of John is a little freaky. In chapter 3, Jesus and Nicodemus talk about being born again and Nicodemus asks how in the world do you get back into your mother's womb - ugh. Then Jesus goes on in chapter 6 about having to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Again, ugh. But I'm not talking about spiritual regeneration or the Lord's Supper. I want to fast forward to chapter 10.

Jesus gives a very clear teaching in John 10 about Him being the Good Shepherd for his sheep. Check it out:

14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 26but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. 27My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. 29My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. 30I and the Father are one."

Now there is a ton of important theological truths packed into these verses about salvation, sacrifice, and eternal security. But the main point I want to focus on is verse 30: 'I and the Father are one.'

You don't call someone a good moral teacher who calls himself God. You put those guys in padded rooms or they go camp out in Waco, Texas and get blown up. Either Jesus was a nutjob, or he's telling the truth. The rest of scripture and 2000 years of Christianity goes with the 'he's telling the truth' part.

This teaching that Jesus gives also echoes what God said through the prophet Ezekiel in chapter 34:

11 " 'For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. 13 I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. 14 I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. 16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.

These are tremendous verses that should drive us to our knees in worship. By reading John 10 and Ezekiel 34, we find that: God (Jesus) seeks out and chooses his sheep, He cares for his sheep, He protects his sheep, He leads his sheep justly, and He sacrifices himself for His sheep. If that's the way God has promised to treat me, I find it a priviledge to be a dumb animal.

Serving the Shepherd,

Ryan

40...my prayer for today

Psalm 40

1I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. 2He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. 3He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

4Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust,who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! 5You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.

6Sacrifice and offering you have not desired, but you have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering you have not required. 7Then I said, "Behold, I have come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me: 8I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."

9I have told the glad news of deliverance in the great congregation; behold, I have not restrained my lips, as you know, O LORD. 10I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation.

11 As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! 12For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see;they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me.

13 Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me! O LORD, make haste to help me! 14Let those be put to shame and disappointed altogether who seek to snatch away my life;let those be turned back and brought to dishonor who desire my hurt! 15Let those be appalled because of their shame who say to me, "Aha, Aha!"

16But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you;may those who love your salvation say continually, "Great is the LORD!" 17 As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me.You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!

The Gift of Faith

I graduated high school in 1991. What this means is that I was fully immersed in a new sound of music: grunge. I sported a lot of flannel and wore hiking boots with shorts. Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Smashing Pumpkins were the soundtrack for my life. I thought the movie "Singles" was the coolest movie ever, mainly because of the Seattle music scene backdrop of the movie (btw, Pearl Jam was Matt Dillon's band in the movie, 'Citizen Dick'). I recently bought the movie at Wal-Mart in their $5.50 DVD bin, and after not viewing the film for a good 10 years, all of my fond memories of the film were smashed because the film really isn't that good after all. But still a great soundtrack.

But there was another band/musician that caught my ear back in those days. His style was a very simple, raw, blues-based rock 'n roll. I recently pulled the CD out and put in my truck and was surprising able to sing along with most of the songs. The artist: Matthew Sweet. The CD: Girlfriend. What caught my ear yet again wasn't just straight forward rock of the album, but the song themes. With the title 'Girlfriend', he obviously talks a lot about relationships, with their ups and downs. But another strong theme is very spiritual one. One song, entitled "Evangeline" is about a girl who won't date him (or sleep with him, for that matter) because of her love and devotion to God. And one of my favorite tracks is #1, called "Divine Intervention." Here's the opening verse and chorus:

I don't know where I'm gonna live; Don't know if I'll find a place
I'll have to think about it some; That I do not wish to face
Guess I'm counting on His divine intervention

I can't tell you how much I identify with those lyrics. Currently, I have 5 days left at my ministry in Michigan. After that, no job (that pays at least). No paycheck. No place to live in Springfield, where God has called me to plant a church. No one to buy our house in Michigan. I guess I'm counting on His divine intervention.

At the same time, my faith in God has been growing like never before. Yeah, I'm concerned and am doing all I can to find work and raise support for our church, because I have a wife and 3 kids to take care of. But I'm not worried. Jesus says that worry is a sin (Matthew 6:25-34). I really believe and trust God to take care of us. He knows that our house needs to sell, that I need a job, that we need a place to live, and that my kids need to begin school the end of August. He knows the needs and the timeline. And I am confident that he will provide it all, as we live out Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

I say all that to talk about the gift of faith. There are many lists of spiritual gifts in scripture, like in Romans 12 and 1 Corinthains 12. And faith is one of those gifts. I also think that many people misunderstand spiritual gifts. They think that they own the gift. They think that since they took some kind of goofy spiritual gift inventory and identified their "top 3 gifts", that the list is static and carved in stone like the 10 commandments. I just don't think that's true. I do believe that God does wire us up a certain way and our personalities play into our gifts significantly. And I do believe that there are certain gifts that do stick with you strongly, like leadership, teaching, serving, etc. But where I disagree is that once you identify your gifts, that you will never really exhibit any others.

I started to disagree with this in college. Whenever I took a spiritual gifts test, the gift of administration always scored a 1 out of a possible 50. This means that calculators scare me. But this one time I took an inventory and my "gift of administration" came out #2! What was that about? Well, at the time, I was overseeing all the sessions for our annual youth conference, which included organizing multi-media, drama, worship, announcements, the speaker, etc. I had to be organized and be highly administrative or I would die. So, in God's mercy and care, he raised up the gift of administration with me for a time because His church needed it.

Same thing is happening now. He is raising up the gift of faith in me. And the reason He is is because I really need it. My family really needs it. I need a faith that is unshakable that will inspire others to completely trust God with everything...even in the face of risking everything that's stable and comfortable in life, like money and a place to live.

I think this doctrine of spiritual gifts is really important because it takes control out of our hands and rightfully puts it back in God's. After all, 1 Corinthians 12: 11 says this of spiritual gifts: "All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills." The gifts are the Spirit's, not ours. He will give as is needed, for his glory and for the betterment of the church.

So, I encourage you to risk something that's comfortable in your life, and give God the opportunity to do something in you that normally wouldn't happen. Allow yourself to be stretched and grown. And when you serve Jesus' church with whatever gift He's blessed you with, remember, it's all about giving back to God what's his anyway and really has nothing to do with you.

Soli Deo Gloria - Glory to God Alone,
Ryan