Pummeled for Jesus

How sinful are you? How much faith and trust in God do you really have?

I know those are big, difficult, scary questions, but if you haven't really dealt with those yet and you really want to 100% surrender your life Jesus, those questions will be answered.

I'm in the midst of answering them right now. That may seem odd, me being a pastor (and church planter); but this time in my life is having really wrestle with those questions. I think I have tons of faith. I mean, I quit my steady job in Michigan where I made decent money, had a house, and lead a couple ministries that were really getting some good feet on the ground. Then God calls me to this church planting thing, and I quit my job, move my family, and exercise a big amount of faith in God to take care of us. But we're in a place where our house hasn't sold in Michigan, I can't seem to find good work to support my family, and funds in our new church plant are getting dangerously low. Then there's the stress of moving, doing round trips to Michigan three times in two weeks, and trying to maintain a healthy marriage and family life, while trying to assimilate into a new community.

So as I've been exercising a lot of faith on the outside, inside I've been pretty ticked off with God...wondering when in the world he'll do his part and sell the house and have at least 1 company from 25 call back of the resume's I've sent out.

But then I heard someone teaching some scripture that pretty much shook me back to reality. Check this out from 2 Corinthians 4:

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

Yeah, I hard-pressed, feeling struck down, perplexed...all those things. But I'm still here. I'm not crushed or abandoned or destroyed. I thought I was at a point of total surrender, but I'm not. God is lovingly pressing on me, pressing sin out of me. God is growing me through pain...it just has to happen that way sometimes. Even though it feels like death is at work in me, Jesus' life is really what's working itself out in me.

If you really want to grow and become more like Jesus, it will hurt. A lot. Being a Christ-follower is the most difficult thing in the world, because you have to face yourself and all the depravity of your sin. But remember that God thinks the world of me and you...we are his masterpieces...he loves us despite of our sin. And he will bring us through extremely difficult times so we change and look more like his Son, who did in fact suffer death for us.

May you grasp not only the depth of your sin, but hold tightly to the height, the depth, the breadth, and the width of God's gracious love for you. May you have endurance for the journey and may you have an unchartable amount of faith in the One who loves you.

Grace & peace,

Ryan